Revisions!
Feb. 3rd, 2013 10:09 pmSample #2: She could tell Douglas was having trouble keeping himself up on his probably-broken leg as they neared the car. Heather had never been the most sensitive person, but still she felt increasingly bad for him. He'd made it all this way so far; out of the amusement park and nearly all the way down Nathan Avenue and he hadn't shown a single sign of pain. Still, she could tell it was there; could tell he was hurting. "Douglas?"
The man looked up at her, seeming to come out of some sort of trance. Neither of them had said a word to each other since they'd started walking and the broken silence was even more awkward than the silence had been. "Yeah? What is it, Heath- er, Cheryl?" He kept moving, unfaltering on his damaged limb.
"You don't look too good..." Heather had never been one to put things lightly and she wasn't about to start now. Even though she'd told him to, hearing him call her Cheryl felt strange and unnatural. "Actually, let's just stick to Heather, 'kay?"
Douglas seemed relieved to hear that and nodded. "I'm fine." He lied. "You don't gotta worry about me, Heather."
She knew he was lying but she just nodded. There was no reason to press the issue, he wasnt going to admit it anyway. She could see the car through the fog and it was difficult not to break into a run for it. She hadn't felt right since they'd entered this town and she couldn't wait to get out of it. Silent Hill. Just the name of the place made her shiver. It was hard to believe she'd wanted to come here so badly when she was a child. Not her, Cheryl. Now that she could remember her past lives it was hard to keep them all straight.
The car was now within a few feet of them and a new problem emerged in her mind. "Douglas?" She paused for a moment. "Are you gonna be able to drive like this?"
The man certainly took his time answering her, and after what felt like an eternity, he finally made his decision. "Uh, I'm not thinkin' so." A feeling of heavy disappointment hit her hard. "Sorry, Heather." As if that would help.
"Well we can't walk. It's like, three million miles." she gestured dramatically in the vague direction of her home town. "And you're like this." She then gestured to his busted leg.
He nodded thoguhtfully. "Yeah. I guess you're right." The two of them stood silently staring at the ground for a while until Douglas finally spoke up. "You could drive."
It took almost all of Heather's energy not to burst out laughing at the mere thought of it. "I can't drive! Are you crazy, old man?"
Douglas, clearly unhappy about being called an old man, shook his head. "Looks like it's the only way. Sorry." He dug in his pocket for a moment and tossed her his car keys.
The keys slipped between her fingers, dropping to the asphalt with a loud 'clink'. Well, I'm off to a good start, she thought sarcastically as she leaned down to pick them up. She gave a loud sigh before walking around to the driver's side and opening the door. "Guess I have to learn sometime."
She slid into the unfamiliar seat, noticing immediately that she couldn't reach the steering wheel. Fortunately, she'd sat in the front of her father's car and pretended to drive enough times to at least know how to adjust the seat and steering wheel. When she was situated correctly, she fiddled with the mirror until she could see out the back window and placed her hands on the steering wheel.
"Um, Heather?" Came the voice from the passenger's side. "You gotta put the key in the ignition."
As if she'd been planning to all along, she quickly drove the key toward the slot, fumbling and missing a few times before she got it in. She turned it sharply clockwise and the engine roared to life. With the car actually on, she felt intimidated and realized how nervous she was. "Okay, so now I just... go?"
Douglas nodded, a fond look on his worn face. "Pretty much. After you put it in gear."
She grabbed the lever and pulled it to the "D", hesitating only a few seconds before pressing her foot down on the gas pedal gently. The car eased forward at only a few miles per hour and a triumphant smile forced its way onto her face. "I can't believe I'm actually driving right now."
Douglas gace her that fatherly smile that she hated and let out a slight laugh. "You can go faster than that, you know."
Upon hearing Douglas's words, Heather experimentally pressed her foot down as hard as she could. The car made a loud angry sound and sped up immediately.
"Not that fast!"
Frazzled, she slammed on the brake, hearing the squeal of the tires as they came to a sudden halt. "Sorry!" She didn't think she'd ever heard Douglas yell before and it was even more terrifying than when he'd been aiming his gun at her head. "Sorry." Douglas didn't look like he was up for this right now and Heather didn't feel like she was anymore either. "Hey, Doug?"
He was already looking at her. "What is it?"
"Do you think maybe we should stay in the motel one more night? Leave in the morning?"
He nodded slowly. "Alright. Whatever you need, Heather."
She gave him an embarrassed smile. "Thanks." She'd been so urgent to leave that she hadn't taken into account how dark it was. Her father had always tols her that at night is the worst time to drive, and she was determined to keep listening to all the advice he had given her, even though he couldn't give her any more.
So She opened the door once again and stepped back out into the dark fog. Armed with her flashlight, she made her way to the other side of the car and realized how tired she was. Driving could wait. Her inevitable humiliation could wait for morning's light. Right now she needed sleep.
And as they walked again to the small motel only a few feet away from the car one more night in Silent Hill didn't seem so bad after all.
The man looked up at her, seeming to come out of some sort of trance. Neither of them had said a word to each other since they'd started walking and the broken silence was even more awkward than the silence had been. "Yeah? What is it, Heath- er, Cheryl?" He kept moving, unfaltering on his damaged limb.
"You don't look too good..." Heather had never been one to put things lightly and she wasn't about to start now. Even though she'd told him to, hearing him call her Cheryl felt strange and unnatural. "Actually, let's just stick to Heather, 'kay?"
Douglas seemed relieved to hear that and nodded. "I'm fine." He lied. "You don't gotta worry about me, Heather."
She knew he was lying but she just nodded. There was no reason to press the issue, he wasnt going to admit it anyway. She could see the car through the fog and it was difficult not to break into a run for it. She hadn't felt right since they'd entered this town and she couldn't wait to get out of it. Silent Hill. Just the name of the place made her shiver. It was hard to believe she'd wanted to come here so badly when she was a child. Not her, Cheryl. Now that she could remember her past lives it was hard to keep them all straight.
The car was now within a few feet of them and a new problem emerged in her mind. "Douglas?" She paused for a moment. "Are you gonna be able to drive like this?"
The man certainly took his time answering her, and after what felt like an eternity, he finally made his decision. "Uh, I'm not thinkin' so." A feeling of heavy disappointment hit her hard. "Sorry, Heather." As if that would help.
"Well we can't walk. It's like, three million miles." she gestured dramatically in the vague direction of her home town. "And you're like this." She then gestured to his busted leg.
He nodded thoguhtfully. "Yeah. I guess you're right." The two of them stood silently staring at the ground for a while until Douglas finally spoke up. "You could drive."
It took almost all of Heather's energy not to burst out laughing at the mere thought of it. "I can't drive! Are you crazy, old man?"
Douglas, clearly unhappy about being called an old man, shook his head. "Looks like it's the only way. Sorry." He dug in his pocket for a moment and tossed her his car keys.
The keys slipped between her fingers, dropping to the asphalt with a loud 'clink'. Well, I'm off to a good start, she thought sarcastically as she leaned down to pick them up. She gave a loud sigh before walking around to the driver's side and opening the door. "Guess I have to learn sometime."
She slid into the unfamiliar seat, noticing immediately that she couldn't reach the steering wheel. Fortunately, she'd sat in the front of her father's car and pretended to drive enough times to at least know how to adjust the seat and steering wheel. When she was situated correctly, she fiddled with the mirror until she could see out the back window and placed her hands on the steering wheel.
"Um, Heather?" Came the voice from the passenger's side. "You gotta put the key in the ignition."
As if she'd been planning to all along, she quickly drove the key toward the slot, fumbling and missing a few times before she got it in. She turned it sharply clockwise and the engine roared to life. With the car actually on, she felt intimidated and realized how nervous she was. "Okay, so now I just... go?"
Douglas nodded, a fond look on his worn face. "Pretty much. After you put it in gear."
She grabbed the lever and pulled it to the "D", hesitating only a few seconds before pressing her foot down on the gas pedal gently. The car eased forward at only a few miles per hour and a triumphant smile forced its way onto her face. "I can't believe I'm actually driving right now."
Douglas gace her that fatherly smile that she hated and let out a slight laugh. "You can go faster than that, you know."
Upon hearing Douglas's words, Heather experimentally pressed her foot down as hard as she could. The car made a loud angry sound and sped up immediately.
"Not that fast!"
Frazzled, she slammed on the brake, hearing the squeal of the tires as they came to a sudden halt. "Sorry!" She didn't think she'd ever heard Douglas yell before and it was even more terrifying than when he'd been aiming his gun at her head. "Sorry." Douglas didn't look like he was up for this right now and Heather didn't feel like she was anymore either. "Hey, Doug?"
He was already looking at her. "What is it?"
"Do you think maybe we should stay in the motel one more night? Leave in the morning?"
He nodded slowly. "Alright. Whatever you need, Heather."
She gave him an embarrassed smile. "Thanks." She'd been so urgent to leave that she hadn't taken into account how dark it was. Her father had always tols her that at night is the worst time to drive, and she was determined to keep listening to all the advice he had given her, even though he couldn't give her any more.
So She opened the door once again and stepped back out into the dark fog. Armed with her flashlight, she made her way to the other side of the car and realized how tired she was. Driving could wait. Her inevitable humiliation could wait for morning's light. Right now she needed sleep.
And as they walked again to the small motel only a few feet away from the car one more night in Silent Hill didn't seem so bad after all.